Ken Rockwell Facts

I looked into many photography blogs when I first started photography. It was not too difficult to discover them because there are literally thousands and thousands of photography blogs on the web. They have their own distinctive characteristics. For example, Eric Kim's blog mainly talks about street photography, Steve Huff Photo is about real-life usage reviews (famous for Leica reviews), and dpreview is a site with serious camera's technical specification shits.

 

Among those people, there is this individual named Ken Rockwell. Most of the photographers that have a wifi connection at home will definitely know or heard of his name. His review's quality can be questionable sometimes, but there is no doubt that he is one of the most influential photographer/blogger on the web. When it comes to camera reviews, google puts him on top of dpreview and wikipedia in search results. I say that's freaking impressive, but this does not mean he is the most loved photographer though. There are few examples of him being an idiotic a-hole, but in my opinion he is pretty good at what he does and I go to his site for information. 

 

This is why Ken Rockwell is called the "Chuck Norris of photography". If you don't know who the hell Chuck Norris is you might've been living in a cave the last few decades (welcome to 21st century bro). Chuck Norris was a prime action movie actor in 1980's, best known for his tough guy image. Because of his image, nice people of the interwebs made facts about him. This goes the same to Ken Rockwell. People around the web gathered their minds and keyboards to make this fact sheet. Enjoy! (Special thanks to Liem Bahneman for the list.)

 

1.     Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

 

2.     Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

 

3.     Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

 

4.     Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

 

5.     Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

 

6.     Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

 

7.     Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

 

8.     Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

 

9.     Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

 

10. Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

 

11. When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

 

12. Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

 

13. Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

 

14. Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

 

15. Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

 

16. Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

 

17. Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

 

18. Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

 

19. Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

 

20. Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

 

21. When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

 

22. Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

 

23. On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

 

24. Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

 

25. When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

 

26. For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

 

27. Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

 

28. Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

 

29. Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

 

30. The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

 

31. Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

 

32. A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

 

33. Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

 

The most beautiful missed connection I've ever read